(All in Bahasa Indonesia)
Pak B: “Oh yes, I know about that food stall! They have an incredibly delicious Goat Soup!”
Me: “Oh yeah? So far I’ve only eaten their Sate Ayam.”
Pak B: “You must try the Goat Soup. Do you like organ meat?”
Context
One of the more amusing facts of Asian cultures is that our collective peoples waste nothing. It gets eaten if it’s made of protein. Nations or people groups might eat blood if it is not taboo. Feet, organs, and tongue are all part of the daily food here in Indonesia (and much of the wider world, really). It is actually much easier to find food containing organ meat than without. The one exception to this is chicken. Chicken muscle and chicken organs are equally accessible anywhere in Indonesia.
Me: “Not really, no. But I will always try anything once or twice.”
Pak B: “Goat soup (with organs) is super delicious! But now I have high cholesterol!” He laughs; hilarity promptly followed by a dramatic collapse to the desktop reminiscent of a puppet with cut strings. He suddenly lifts his head off the table as his brain latches onto something I said. “You’ll try anything? Have you ever tried brains?”
Me: “No? Selling brains is illegal in the US.”
Pak B: “Really?! Why?”
Me: “Umm…. one moment, ya?”
I thought about this one for a moment as Dana continued to talk to Pak B. about exotic foods found in Chinese banquets. How does one talk about variant Creutzfeld-Jakob Disease in Indonesian? I looked it up on Google Translate, double-checked it with some Indonesian News articles, and went for broke: “Pernah mendengar Penyakit Sapi Gila?”
“Gila” has a wide range. “Penyakit Sapi Gila” can translate to “Mad Cow Disease”, but “Gila” is more commonly thought of as “Crazy”. It has a slightly different, goofier connotation. At worst, “gila” brings to mind images of running amok or running oneself into padded walls. At its best, one might also picture wild benders of the secretive, Las Vegas variety. To give you an idea, psychiatric wards are for “crazy people” (this is extremely rude, but it’s to make a point), but one can also order “crazy fried rice” from certain food stalls. So while “Penyakit Sapi Gila” is appropriate, it also leaves quite a bit of room for interpretation.
The same is also true in the US, but at least I know all the alternatives in English. The imprecision of “mad” is verified and enforced by a lack of alternatives. I have no idea if a more precise alternative exists in Indonesian. In this case (and many others) I don’t even know how to begin delineating the differences between alternatives.
Pak B.’s face took on a look of surprised confusion. “Crazy cows? Are the cows crazy?”
Me: “No. Maybe a bit more confused.”
Pak B: “What makes them confused?”
I explain to Pak B. that cows typically contracted Mad Cow Disease from eating spinal fluid and brains from infected cows.
Pak B: “Wha!!! Cows are cannibals!!”
Me: “I don’t think they know; they eat what people feed them…. but that is why it is illegal to buy, sell, or eat brains in the US.”
Pak B: So if I eat cow brains, can I go crazy?
Pak B took his KN95 mask (the duckbills), planted it on his head, and pulled the earloops down to his chin. He rolled his eyes to heaven, stuck his tongue out to the side of his mouth, and assumed the expression of a goofy stoner. His prop ingenuity and momentary transformation were absolute; to this day I am convinced he could have done stage work.
Me: “Mmm… maybe? People with Mad Cow Disease certainly don’t act as they normally do.”
Pak B: “And you can’t cook it?”
Me: “We can’t be sure boiling will kill it.”
Pak B: “So what if the soup has brains and other organs but I don’t eat the brains?”
Me: “I don’t know?”
Pak B clasps his hands together in the traditional motion of thanks. He politely intones, “Thank you for the information. I will never eat brains so I do not become like a crazy cow.”
Me: “You’re welcome!”
We thus concluded language class. I felt rather good about myself. I had just averted the possibility of my teacher becoming like a crazy cow entirely in Bahasa Indonesia. If that is not language learning progress, I don’t know what is.
Coda: Sop Kambing
The food stall that Pak B. recommended was just south of the campus. Dana and I often went there for chicken sate, so we had never bothered trying the goat soup (especially after my disappointment with gule kambing, cf. “Food Mysteries 1 of 4”). On Pak B’s recommendation, I tried the goat soup. My findings are summarized below:
Clear broth flavored entirely by goat fat and MSG
Liver: Soft, tastes like bitterness and blood
Intestine: Chewy, oily, fatty bits
Stomach: Rubbery, like tripe
Heart: Rubbery, tastes like blood
Lungs: Rubbery, tastes like eraser
Some other unidentified bits were in there. I’m positive some of it had to be kidney. Brains were nowhere to be had.