What follows is the first of two encounters wherein I realize I’m circumstantially wealthy.
The Haircut
My hair had gone feral by the end of our second week. It had grown into a hybrid mullet / Chia Pet. I went to a barber nearby the supermarket I’d frequented lately. The interior was decorated in a modern style with fresh wood paneling. It was well-lit, clean, and cozy. Most importantly, the service list was in English.
For 35,000 IDR ($2.43 USD) I could get a haircut, shampoo/wash, pomade (styling hair grease?), head massage, and coffee/tea. What a deal! A basic haircut costs me $16 in the US, and I have to massage and shampoo my head myself. I took a deep breath for the inevitable awkward conversation conducted in broken Bahasa Indonesia and hand gestures about what I want done to my hair. Exhale; walk in.
The barber’s assistant minded the shop. She watched an Islamic education channel while tidying and readying the room. She greeted me, asked me whether I wanted coffee or tea (perhaps the only thing I understood during this visit) and then told me to sit. She politely set down a cup and saucer of kopi tubruk, changed the channel to American pop hits, and informed me the barber would come shortly.
I used the time (and Google Translate) to think about all the things I could say. I was fairly certain that, “A #1 on the back and sides and #4 on the top” is useless here. “Asian hair” might mean nothing if everyone is from Asia. “A military cut” might make sense, but he and I might reference different militaries. Dana suggested that I use a picture and request he style me, “like this”. For the record, the words “military haircut” into Google Images yields hundreds of images of white men with short hair. Oh well.
The short, wiry gentleman politely greeted me and asked what to do with my hair. My nascent Bahasa Indonesia allows me to approximately say, “Sorry, I speak a little bit ....[show him the picture]..... Please like this?” He viewed the White man with the short hair on my phone and got to work. One haircut, shampoo, and head massage later, I am a civilized man for another month.
Now comes the crucial question: How much do I tip the gentleman? The internet sites said to tip between 20,000-50,000 IDR. The barber is worth all of it, but the package I paid for was 35,000. The next package up is 50,000. Do I pay him the 35,000 and tip him 50,000? Even a 35,000 tip seems ludicrous on principle. But the service was so good! It seemed to me that an extra 50,000 IDR ($3.50 USD) would make our budding relationship bear fruit that much faster.
My problem is that I don’t know what is appropriate to give. Too little means I am miserly. Too much means I’m profligate. I’d like to avoid either reputation in the assumedly small world of Muslim barbershop owners. I hemmed and hawed my way to 30,000 IDR, 88% of the package price. I gave him his tip with a cheerful, “Terima kasih banyak!” He looked happy, anyway. Dana wryly mused, “Now he probably thinks you’re a rich foreigner.”
“...... But I am! .... Now.... And it doesn’t hurt to be generous...” I admit to being slightly defensive after she instantly shredded all the thought processes I never told her about. Dana may be right though. I just mindlessly (or mindfully?) flaunted my wealth to my newfound barber. I’m THAT foreigner.